That's not true, I can smell when my son farts. Delightful.
I was amped to check this sub box out, especially this particular box due to the theme, but I knew I wouldn't be able to drum up the money for the Super Deluxe box in one go. Luckily they had a "layaway" program. For those who don't know, Nightshade's Cellar's boxes can come in several tiers: mini, standard, deluxe or super deluxe, and "massive." Prices vary depending on the box itself and the size chosen, and size options aren't available for all boxes. After viewing the options for the Addams box, and looking on their website this morning, I can pretty confidently say that it's worth spending the extra bucks for the bigger packages where it's an option. But with all good things, there was a snag.
I'm not 100% sure if this box was their first foray into "layaway" or payment plans, but streamlined isn't a word I'd use to describe the process. Even under the best of circumstances, private messages aren't a very stable way of processing this type of order - especially if there are several customers who want to use this service. I don't know how many people decided to jump on this opportunity, but I do know that the owner of Nightshade's Cellar was sick. I don't know what kind of sick, but if it's anything like what's been ripping through my house then I'm going to go with "real fuckin' sick."
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| I stolded this. |
Then you add on the fact that I never know what day it is, ever. Anyways, because there was no official order filled out, there was no email notifications or traditional tracking. It's a great idea, but it's still a baby idea that needs to grow into a functional option that's easy for both the customer and the retailer to use. Because if more than a handful of people decide to go with layaway it's going to turn into a mess. Which would suck, because I was pleasantly surprised at how much I liked this box.
Like I said, I don't have a lot of things to add other than pictures because I can't smell, and what I can smell is triggering my asthma like you wouldn't believe. Luckily coffee mugs don't traditionally have scents of their own. If I have one complaint it's that I have to be careful washing it. The decal is similar to ones on those 4-packs of beer glasses you can get at Target that have a theme like DC heroes or National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Decal+super hot water=sadness. And I use excessively hot water, because I like to punish my dishes for being dirty.
The coffee mug is a nice companion to Burial Grounds Coffee Co.'s Cara Mia blend. I'd been kind of internet stalking this company for a while, but I'm always hesitant to pull the trigger on purchasing new consumables. This was an excellent opportunity to try out their product without worrying about buyer's remorse.
First of all, I typically only buy Cafe Bustelo. It only comes in one roast, espresso, and it's a knock-you-on-your-ass flavor. I had forgotten what a medium roast looked and tasted like. In the wee hours of the morning, it took me a moment to realize that my coffee wasn't defective and it was supposed to be that colour.
For anyone who doesn't swill coffee like water, and slowly die of dehydration in the process, companies typically use a medium roast so that the added flavors aren't over-powered. Just in case I hadn't mentioned it, I'm very sick. I can't smell anything. And because I can't smell anything, I really can't taste anything. I'm not entirely sure what this tastes like. So I'm saving the rest of the bag on the off-hand chance that I don't die in the near future.
Look at that guy. He's adorable! He's meant to be a Cousin It Bath Bomb, but he looks like a Minion. In this particular instance I'm not going to split hairs (PUNS!) because:
1) It's very difficult to translate a sentient mound of hair into a bath fizzy
2) No one wants a poop-brown bath bomb
3) What would that even smell like?
No, seriously, what does it smell like? I can't smell, and I don't dare use it for fear that my asthma will decide to rear it's ugly head and ruin my bathy bath. Basically I can't enjoy anything when I'm sick. Which brings me to...
Family Macabre wax melts from Rebel Potions. I can sort of smell this. I will wait until I am completely over this garbage that has taken up residence in my lungs before actually using it, because I'm pretty sure it would kill me otherwise.
I've gotten products from this company before, so I'm fairly certain I'll like it, but right now I'm incapable of joy. I can't taste my coffee. I can't take a bath. I can't burn or melt my stinky stuff.
If ever there was a product named for my very soul. While I can't smell it very well, I can still use it and it's actually pretty great. I Hate Everyone lip scrub is from Sudsy Sirens, another company I've gotten stuff from and not been disappointed. I like to think that while it's technically a sugar scrub, it's actually preparing my mouth to spit more poison at people I hate. And people I love. And people I have no firm opinions on. Because everyone sucks.
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| I tried to find a meme to express that I torture those I care about for fun, but all I could find was a bunch of emo bullshit. |
Another great item from Sudsy Sirens, this Gomez body butter smells like a good humidor. It smells like leather chairs and smoking jackets and cigars with large glasses of brandy. I CAN SMELL THIS ONE!!!
The butter itself is much firmer than it appeared; I was expecting something on par with homemade whipped cream. It looks so light and fluffy and I want to eat it, but that would be incredibly stupid and the lung rot hasn't worked its way up to my brain yet.
Goddamn, I want to eat it.
Morticia Setting Spray from OMFG Cosmetics. I literally had no idea what this was. I had to go online to find out what setting spray was because I don't wear makeup. Now that I know what it is, holy shit! There's stuff that does that?!?! I had no idea. This is a new and novel idea for me. I still don't want to wear makeup, but now I know about the latest advances in witchcraft should I ever choose to do so. In the mean time, I have friends that wear makeup. And my friends have similar interests to mine, so someone is going to be super happy.
It's teeny tiny soap! Thing hand soap from Nightshade's Cellar is like a little high five every time you wash your hands. I have no idea what it smells like. Because my face has fallen off.
Family Values soap from Pretties For Your Face. It says scrubby, which makes me think it's an exfoliating soap. Further inspection of their website confirms this assumption. I'm actually in the middle of another bar of soap, so by the time I'm ready to crack this open I'll either have recovered or my body will have been eaten by my cats because that's the circle of life.
It's a little voodoo doll toy thingy! I'm not sure if this is meant to be a specific character or just a little spoopy guy in general. I have a couple of similar dolls hanging in my car, where he or she will be joining them shortly. This new friend came courtesy of Synyster Kreations Co.
This box came with a handy card identifying the products and who made them, which I really appreciate because it suuuuuucks trying to decipher labels and hunt down websites when you're about to expire. The card stated that there would be a Wednesday bath bomb as well, but after reaching out to the company I've learned that this was a typo. This makes sense since there was only supposed to be ten items in this box and the extra bath bomb would have made eleven. Am I a little bummed? Sure. Does it effect my opinion of this box or company? Nope. I've scrolled through their Instagram and seen their past boxes, and their upcoming Beetlejuice box, and I'm really impressed by the quality of their curated themes. Will I buy more? Absolutely. Probably not Beetlejuice, because I'm broke at the moment, but I'll be following them to keep up to date on new themes.
In completely unrelated news, I am still waiting on Loot Crate's Mission Crate. I've received an email stating that the shipping date has been pushed back another month. I really don't know what's happening with this because it's completely out of character for Loot Crate. I will continue to wait, and this crate had better blow my mind because this is ridiculous. I will literally cry if it sucks.
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