Star Trek Mission Crate Order Confirmed
Qapla’!
You have successfully ordered the Star
Trek Mission Crate! Tracking emails for the crate will go out when it
ships at the end of November 2017. Your crates will be beamed to you
between the 1st and 10th of December.
Reminder: as this is a bi-monthly,
recurring subscription, it will automatically renew unless you cancel or
the Borg finally assimilate Earth (see below for more details).
I found my crate today when I got home for work. Or did I? Confusion from the word go.
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| Uhhhhhh.... |
Right off the bat this wasn't what I was expecting. I chalked it up to printing issues or something and went ahead and cracked this guy open. I would continue to be confused and...mostly confused. Yeah.
I know it's hard to tell but that pin was a Loot Crate exclusive from last year's "Futuristic" campaign. I didn't get that particular crate but I do have that pin, which I picked up on eBay. The socks were also a throwback, but at least I didn't already own them. I like socks. Ok, I'm down with the socks.
What you probably can't see in this picture is the sweat inside of the packaging. That would be the fragrance condensation because this air freshener is TWO YEARS OLD!!!! I mean, I'm still going to put it in my car, assuming it hasn't become weird or toxic, but what is going on guys?!?
Alright, this was actually kind of neat, but it's from last year again. At this point this box was beginning to feel like one of the last Horror Blocks from earlier this summer. Just a box of stuff that was thrown together at the last minute. At least it was all indeed Star Trek themed, but by now I was becoming alarmed.
This was the only item that was from this year, though I don't know if it was from yet another previous crate. Needless to say I was incredibly confused because I was expecting this:
NONE OF THIS HAPPENED!!! This crate was due between December 1 and December 10, and today on December 15 I am over here like:
So I did what I did best and basically stalked Loot Crate and this particular crate and found out that this isn't the Mission Crate at all!!! If there had been an update or email, I either hadn't received it or simply don't remember. It's just as likely that I'd forget something like this, but somehow I think I would remember the things keeping me away from my sweet sweet Jean Luc. So I went looking for answers.
So here I sit, still waiting. Exhausted from a roller coaster ride of emotions. I'm still confused, but I'm back to my default level of confusion. I have two LLAP pins. I'm considering giving it to my fiance but if we're being real here, it's not like I don't not need two pins. I don't even know if that's grammatically correct. I've been drinking eggnog with sherry and Rumchata. What I'm trying to say is that I have one for display and one to put on my Federation uniform messenger bag. Like the sexy bitch that I am.
Sorry there's no links. It's nothing short of miraculous that I got the pictures uploaded. I'm not trying to find where my links are supposed to go, let alone make sure that I'm using the correct links to begin with. There's Star Trek parody porn and I'm the kind of asshole who not only has it bookmarked but would accidentally link it in a review of a box full of actual innocent toys.
Google it. The Crate, not the porn. Or Google the porn. I'm not here to judge. I'm certainly not in a position to do so.
Live long and prosper.
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